It's 4 A.M.

This is about the time I start to get nervous. The halls are dark and much too quiet.
I've been working the night shift at Best Western for only 2 weeks and already I've detected a pattern:
The first part of the shift is invigorating. I know no one will be around so I'm free to catch up on reading or surfing the web.
After a few hours it sinks in that I haven't spoken to anyone all night. It gets me a little spooked. I realize how big this hotel really is.
The final few hours are marked with a steep decline in energy. I am starting to suspect this has something to do with how much I eat during my shift. If I don't feed myself during that 8 hours I'm at work, my body gives up trying to function and wants to go into sleep mode.

Overall it's a great job. I work Fridays and Saturdays from 11pm to 7am. You'd be right to assume that I don't get a whole lot of business during those hours. My boss allows me to do just about anything I want; watch movies, use the computer, read or do homework. The golden rule is, "Don't fall asleep." Sounds like a no-brainer but you'd be surprised how many people BW has had to let go because of it. And the people who do stay awake can't keep the job for more than a few months. Turnover is very high here, my boss told me.

The job's downside is it takes up my weekends almost completely. It wouldn't be a problem, since my social life has shrank considerably since all my closest friends moved away last year, but the weekends used to be my time to spend with Jill. But, now I spend them here. Jill and I are trying to work out a new schedule (Mondays, it looks like) and I hope it goes well.

Another bonus is I get a lot of time to think. And learn. Tonight I studied up on Rahm Emanuel, the soon to be Chief of Staff for Obama. He sounds like an interesting, if not over the top, kind of person.
From one online source:
"The most infamous Rahmbo story of them all is the one that begins with the dinner the night after Bill Clinton was elected in 1992. Among those present at the dinner table was ABC News anchor George Stephanopoulos, who watched while an overwrought and clearly exhausted Emanuel began ranting at a long list of Clinton "enemies." As he shouted each name, he stabbed the table with his steak knife: "Nat Landow! Dead! Cliff Jackson! Dead!" Apparently, others joined in."

Maybe it was one of those 'you had to be there' moments.

Lettuce Ketchup

Over the last 2 months I've:
Returned home to KS. It's good to be back.
Started school.
Loved school. I'm only taking twelve hours (or 4 classes) and it's amazing. I'm actually doing all the assigned readings, and really getting into the classes. I hope I never have to take more than 4 classes again. But in order to do this I'd graduate somewhere around 2020.
Not Found a Job. The reason I'm taking less hours is to find a job. And I can't find one. Emporia is a wasteland for employment. The only place I didn't try was Dillons, and that'd be a huge step backwards for me. I worked there for a year and a half, I worked my way up the totem pole from bagboy to fuel clerk, I'm not about to start down that path again. It'd be like redoing high school, you know?
Decided on a Halloween Costume. I'm Luigi and my brother's Mario. Finally, an excuse to buy overalls.
Started Writing Satire Pieces for the School Paper. I'm calling it "A Series of Emporian Events". Do you think that's clever enough?
Become Hardcore into Politics. Can you ever get too into the election? I'm debating that as we speak.

Life has been grand lately. Today my brother returned to KS after a month in Seattle visiting our sister. Turns out he likes it so much he's moving there for good. I'm bummed that he's leaving Emporia after only living there 3 months, but I don't blame him. He wants to figure out his path in life, and I know that journey can't happen in Emporia.
Ok, more to come soon. Promise!

So Monday was my one-year with Jill. Crazy huh. It flew by. This is, by far, the longest I've ever been in a relationship. The longer I'm in this relationship the harder it is to describe it without sounding cliche. It feels like we've been together forever. I don't know where I'd be without her. She is the ying to my yang. Etc, etc. I guess that's why they've become cliche, because people have been saying them everytime they've fallen in love for thousands of years. To celebrate we took a walk, read for a while, then cooked a really delicious dinner of pasta, steamed carrots, and corn on the cob.

We leave for Kansas on Monday. It's a grab bag, that's for sure. I don't want to go back to seeing Jill once a week. I've grown pretty fond of getting to see her morning noon and night. But I'm also excited to get back to Emporia, see my brother, get classes started, etc. (Ha, I guess it doesn't matter how excited or not excited I am, it's going to come anyway isn't it?)

Tomorrow our mutual friend Lizzy comes to visit. She's flying in and then driving home with us. We are going to the Aquarium, the beach, and maybe the WWII museum.

Do you think there's a beach museum somewhere? Or even just a museum located on a beach? I think that'd be a good idea. People would pay money for a museum on a beach.

Another brilliant thought I had last week: You know how in cartoons they have those light bulbs turn on above their heads when they get good ideas? Do you think in the future they will replace them with CFLS? Will kids even know what old light bulbs looked like?

Tomorrow is my mom's birthday.

I got her:

1. A Beatles album

2. The book A Guide to Civilized Conversation

3. A nice picture frame with a photo of Jill and myself

4. I chipped in on some kind of glorified hotplate contraption that's supposed to make baking easier.

5. A bouquet of flowers, delivered to her office.

Will work for internet

The internet has been down at our apartment the last few days.  They might has well just turned off our electricity. I feel like I'm living on the Little House on the Prairie. We have to walk 2 whole blocks everyday just to check our facebooks and emails.  It's terrible. It's amazing how internet-dependent I've become. Especially google.  I probably google three new things a day. Now I'm reduced to writing them down on scraps of paper till I can get near a computer.  

I've also recently become addicted to watching tv shows online. Had you told me two years ago I would be not only using a computer to watch tv, but wouldn't even own a set, I'd call you crazy. As a staunch television advocate, I was one of the last people in the world to believe that computers could ever replace a tv. But now I'm not so sure.  Luckily there's still one thing that computers have yet to replicate; the joy of finding a mediocre movie when there's nothing better on.  It's late at night, you're bored and ready to shut off your brain for a few hours, and what do you happen to come across? Clueless. Or The Eraser. Or Big Daddy. Until computers can reproduce the joy of channel surfing, I think tv is going to be ok.  

One upside is that without the computer around to distract me, I've spent more time reading. One of the obvious perks about working at a library is you get to be around books all day.  Combine that with a measly 4 hour workday, and you have a recipe for reading. 

Books I've Read this Summer

Widow for a Year by John Irving 

The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

The Forged Coupon by Leo Tolstoy 

Perfume by Patrick Suskind

Born Standing Up by Steve Martin 

When You are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris

Ishmael by Daniel Quinn 

Books I am Currently Reading

How to be Funny by Steve Allen

Rise of the Creative Class by Dr. Richard Florida

Freakonomics by Steven Levitt

Crimes Against Nature by RFK, Jr. 

Monkey Wrench Gang by Edward Abbey

Earth First- Story of the Earth Liberation Front by Dave Foreman

Of these, I highly recommend Perfume, Born Standing Up, and Crimes Against Nature.  All 3 are fantastic. 

Freegan Freakout

It was a pretty interesting weekend. 

Friday Jill and I went to a Freegan potluck that her coworker hosted at his house.  Technically it was a warehouse, but I'll get to that in a minute.  For those of you unaware of the term freegan, let me sum it up for you- they eat out of the garbage. A freegan is someone who gets all or most of his food out of garbage bins and dumpsters. Unlike hobos and tramps, who do this out of necessity, freegrans do it of their own free will, for a wide variety of reasons; to protest the wasting of food, our capitalist economy, even the price-gouging of supermarkets.  I am a big supporter of the freegan ideals. As someone trying to minimize his footprint on the world, I can't imagine a better way to do that than this. When pressed to pick a reason why I wasn't a freegan, I always thought it was simply because of the germs I'd be introduced to. But after giving it more thought, I think the reason I never got into it is because I'd miss all the food that wasn't in the trash. I know I could survive off of whatever I find in the bins, but think of how much wouldn't end up there! I'd be giving up cookies and muffins and soda and sliced cheese; all the foods that taste so good there's never any left to throw away. Once again it seems my gluttony has come in handy. Jill and I spent friday afternoon boning up on the ideas and culture of freegans in order to prepare ourselves for our initiation into their lifestyle. 

Now about his warehouse. When I heard he lived in an abandoned warehouse, I first imagined it to be a leaky, smelly, dimly lit stank-hole full of hobo poop and broken glass. Once we got there, I was pleasantly surprised. It was most certainly a warehouse, but he had fixed it up quite nicely. Apparently the place had been lived in for the last 6 years or so, and it had a revolving door policy in regards to its inhabitants. (I guess when you are squatting you don't need to worry about silly things like leases and rent) Considering it is an abandoned warehouse, it was very nice. 

The potluck turned out to be a lot of fun. Everyone was very very kind and talkative.  The food looked tasty- there was a chinese noodle dish, some scallop potatoes, and some Vegan brownies among other things.  I enjoyed everything that I tried. And, three days later, I still haven't thrown up, so I've guess they picked from the right dumpster.

The Fall

Last night we went and saw a movie called The Fall. If you haven't seen it, or more than likely, haven't heard of it, check it out now. We were in the movie mood and decided to see what was playing. We had our choice between Get Smart, Wanted, and the Fall, so we decided to look into it. Just a few seconds into the trailer I realized that it was the movie for me.  It was done by the same guy who did The Cell, which I never saw but looked like a real eye-popper.  Seriously guys, go do yourself a favor and check out the trailer.  The movie itself was, as Jill put it, "over-stimulating, but in a really nice way." I loved it, and would have gladly watched over again from start to finish if all the bright colors hadn't drained me of my will to blink. I think by the time it comes out on dvd my eyes will be back to their old selves and I can enjoy it once again.

Mission: Accomplished

So the haircut was a success. I ended up going to the little booth in Walmart, which was a first for me. I'm not a man of high class, but even I had turned my nose up at the Walmart Salon. But since there weren't any Supercuts around (my usual choice) I had to swallow some pride and bite the bullet.  It ended up working out just fine- I have less hair than I started with, that was my only goal.  And it only cost 8 bucks. 

Today I went perusing around local bookstores to find a bday gift for my sister. I found a couple of pretty cool-looking stores, but sadly nothing for my sister. As for myself, I eventually settled on two books; the new David Sedaris book and something called "Just Add Buddha", which teaches you how to apply Buddhist principles to your daily life. I am overjoyed that David Sedaris has put out a new book. As my second favorite author, I've probably read his books 10 times each.  If you ever get the chance to see him do a live reading, I highly recommend it.  When he came through Wichita on his last book tour it was one of the best live performances of anything I've ever seen (#3 on my List of Best Live Performances).  He was surprisingly lively, given the dry humor of his books. I was also surprised at how down to earth (what a cliche phrase that is) he seemed. For a New York socialite who spends half his year in France, he seemed genuinely pleased to be in Kansas for the day. And you could tell he really loves what he's doing for a living. 

Top 5 People I'd Like to Hear Speak (living or dead)

5.  Mark Twain

4. Ricky Gervais 

3. George Harrison

2. Kurt Vonnegut

1. Robert Kennedy, Jr. 

Here's a sublist to that-

Top 5 People With Pleasant Speaking Voices

5. Tim Curry

4. Adam West

3. Vincent Price 

2. Ian Mckellen

1. Dustin Hoffman

Operation: Haircut

So today's a day for errands, we've decided.  I'm going to go buy some fancy coffee to send home to my parents, find something for my sister's upcoming birthday, and sort the recycling. 

But, most importantly, I'm going to get a haircut.  I'm already starting to get those pre-haircut jitters.  I've never been good at telling the haircut person (what would you call them-not quite a stylist, not really a barber?) how I want it cut. I usually just opt for "shorter".  But I guess they like having more to go off of than that.  What makes this haircut so crucial is I've recently added a mustache to my face's list of accessories. It's not a fine mustache, by any means, but it is comical so I might keep it around for the summer.  But now I have to find a haircut that complements my mustache.  Right now I'm kinda sitting on the fence: I could look halfway presentable, but I could easily look like a weirdo. It all depends on my hair. 

Well I hate to leave you all in suspense, but it's time for lunch. Maybe I'll show pictures of my haircut later.  Wish me luck!

China; Holy Shit

I highly suggest you take some time to read these article from the New York Times if you haven't already.  Story

It's about China's unstoppable army of Olympic rowers, and how they are being trained to totally dominate the competition and take home a shit ton of gold medals.  It's intense. I swear, it's like something straight out of Rocky IV (or III? I always get them switched around). The athletes train together on a 10 billion dollar government-owned facility which includes medical labs, clinics, and over 100 boats.  It even has it's own secret code-wordy name, The 119 Project. And who runs the place? Igor Grinko, a world-renown Russian coach who led the Soviets to Olympic victory many years ago.  

I'm not one for sports (I've actually never watched the Olympics before), but I will be interested to see how China does, and what will happen if they don't bring home as many medals as they are expecting.  

America; Fuck Yeah

Today I spent an unbelievable two hours watching prime time tv.  The last time I did that I think Columbo had a made-for-tv movie. Though I am typically a fan of television and even a defender of it in many cases, I find most of the shows in prime time to be too painful to watch; they are either too vapid, or worse, too well calculated.  They know how to get people hooked, and they'll do whatever it takes to get you to tune back in next week.

The reason I sat down to two hours of slick, shiny prime time was to watch the season premiere of America's Got Talent.  

At this point, I feel the need to explain myself.  Jill works with a series of odd characters. One of them, a PE teacher by day, is a extraordinarily talented break dancer who will be a contestant on AGT and has already filmed four episodes.  Coach Mike, as he is known here in New Orleans, spends all of his evenings and weekends performing on the streets in the French Quarter for money, and take my word for it he's quite good.  So tonight a bunch of Jill's coworkers got together to watch him on tv.

Having never seen AGT before, I made a few assumptions.  Using what little I knew about similar shows, I simply filled out the formula like it was a Mad Lib. There would be three judges, probably guy-girl-guy ala American Idol (David Hasslehoff, Sharon Osbourne, and Piers Morgan), a bumbling host (Jerry Springer), and a persistent company sponsor (Apparently Kraft is now selling Mac and Cheese Crackers. What?) 

Another thing I knew to expect, and one of the many reasons I don't watch shows like American Idol, was the constant barrage of destructive and unneeded criticisms from the judges. And this show had no shortage of that.  They dragged poor clowns out in front of thousands of people only to laugh in their face and verbally tear them apart. Now obviously this is a competition and judges are not paid to sugar coat anything, but the way they go about it shows the least amount of respect or tact I have ever seen. And of course the audience is just as bad, thirsty for blood and looking to kill. At times the show reminded me of that old Arnold movie, Running Man, where prisoners where forced to fight to the death on a game show.  

Jill and I discussed this on the drive home- do you think that the terrible acts, the truly bad ones, have any idea they are on the show solely to be made fun of?  Which is worse- that they honestly think they have a chance, then get totally made fun of, or they are told the truth up front, and decide to still go ahead with it, because it's better than nothing? 

Other questions this ridiculous show made me ponder- How can you really judge talent?  The grand prize gets a million dollars and their own show in Vegas. So that leads me to believe that the talent has to work well in a Vegas show format.  You could juggle flaming lawn gnomes, but if you can't do it for more than 30 minutes, does that disqualify you?  Also, who are these people to sit and deride others for lack of talent? I mean, Jesus Christ, it's Hasslehoff! Doesn't it strike anyone else as funny that he's basically America's shitting can, and he's putting others down for being useless and weird?

Anyway, here's the grand finale- after watching the two hour show, from start to finish, we are distressed to discover that Coach Mike has not appeared. What's this? It's a two-parter. Tune in next week for the rest of the episode.  Sons of bitches.

(If you are interested in seeing Coach Mike in action, go to youtube and type in Dragon Master Showcase and some clips should pop up)

New Orleans

So here's the situation: I've moved to New Orleans for the summer with my girlfriend, Jill, to volunteer for Americorps. I'm working at the Children's Library, and she's working at a Fine Arts Summer Camp.   We've been done here for officially one week and 4 hours and I've loved it so far.  This city is full of weirdoes and they keep things interesting. I'll be down here till the first week of August or so. If you'd like me to send you something wacky in the mail (and believe me there's no shortage of wacky things to be purchased in this town), please contact me with your address!

Mine is 

Harrison George

5913 Laurel Street 

New Orleans, LA 70115

In case you were curious.